A new regular feature from The Spin Kitchen, sharing our encyclopedia of road warrior knowledge earned by countless hours on the road.

I’m writing this from the comfort of my hotel room (suite, really, but who’s counting) on Virgin Gorda in the British Virgin Islands. This happens to be one of my favorite places in the world, a small collection of lush volcanic islands nestled between the Atlantic and the Sir Francis Drake Channel. I’ve been here a few times, and learned some important lessons that apply to almost all Caribbean travel:

1. You will have to ride in a tiny plane at some point, since the airports don’t accommodate large jets. Tiny is anywhere from 8 seats to 80; check online to see which one you are on.

2. If you are on the 80 seater, reserve a seat in the BACK. That’s where you load, and more importantly, unload. You want to be the first off the plane to beat the rush to customs.

3. It is also helpful to be the very last person to get on the plane. Your cute little carry-on bag won’t fit in the tiny plane, so they’ll stow it underneath. If your bag goes in last, it comes out first.

4. If you are in the 8 seater, they’re going to ask your weight. In front of everyone.

5. If you are in the 8 seater, you can ask to sit in the co-pilots chair if it’s empty. Which is awesome.

6. Most countries require TWO forms to enter: one for Customs, and one for Immigration. For indeterminable reasons, the airlines only ever seem to have the customs forms. Ask for immigration, and if they don’t have it, snag one while waiting in line immediately after departing. They take a while to fill out.

7. Don’t use your cell phone in immigration, ever.

8. If you travel with an iPhone, change the settings to disable data roaming. International rates are CRAZY, and if someone sends you an email with a photo attached, you’ll get a bill bigger than your car payment.

9. When you are departing, be prepared to have your luggage manually searched. Sometimes every single item is removed from your bag and re-packed, dirty underwear included. Pack accordingly.

That’s it! Next week = Mexico!